This may come as a surprise to anyone who hasn't met me in real life, because of course it's easy to scan through my blog posts and imagine me to be a certain way – people have used words like “adventurous,” “outgoing,” and even “brave” to describe the me on the computer screen.
But the reality is that, while I *can* be all of those things, I'm actually an introvert at heart.
I'm not necessarily shy (that's a common misconception about introverts!), but I'm also not going to be the first one to strike up a conversation or suggest going to a party. Like most introverted people, I prefer small groups to large gatherings; I can be quiet if I don't have anything to say; and I need alone time every day in order to decompress.
This might not sound like a person who would also go gallivanting around the globe, but, believe it or not, there are a LOT of introverted travelers (and even travel bloggers!) out there.
And so, in order to connect more with my people and show you that introverts can totally conquer the world, too, I've decided to dish on the realities of traveling as an introvert.
8 truths about traveling as an introvert
If you, too, are an introvert and are worried about traveling as one, here are some things you might experience while on the road. (I'm not trying to scare you off; just being honest about how I experience a travel-filled life as an introverted person!)
1. You'll stress out over the most random things
This may not be true of all introverts, but it's definitely true for me – really random things stress me out and give me anxiety while traveling. Things like asking for directions (especially in another language), getting up the nerve to walk into a restaurant alone and ask for a table for one, being thrust into social situations by new travel friends… They're all small and silly, but be prepared for the most random things to stress you out when you're traveling as an introvert.
Too many options gives me anxiety, too. For example, when I was in Seville for the first time, I decided I would go out for dinner one night. I wanted to go somewhere for tapas. But there were SO. MANY. PLACES. First, I got anxious about finding a good place to eat when there were so many to choose from. Then I got myself all worked up about going inside alone and trying to order off a menu I could only half-read.
I ended up walking around for an hour, and then giving up – I had a gourmet burger in my hotel room that night instead.
Overload like this – whether it's sensory or social or a mix of both – is a real thing that we introverts struggle with while traveling.
But you know what? That burger was one of the best burgers I had that whole year. #noregrets
RELATED: It’s Okay to Feel These (Negative) Things When You Travel
2. People will drive you nuts (sometimes)
I began my traveling career as a backpacker. I spent two summers backpacking around Europe, traveling on backpacker buses and budget airlines and staying in hostels. This forced me into socializing a lot more than I probably would have at home – often with people that I honestly probably would have avoided in my everyday life.
There were the all-night partiers that come bumbling back into the hostel dorm room at 5 a.m. to make more noise than you would think humanly possible. There were the twenty-something travelers more intent on scoring drugs than getting to know a new culture. There were the travelers who were loud and rude and inconsiderate of the fact that I just wanted to check my email and go to bed early sometimes.
And, quite frequently, these same people who drove me nuts would call me a party pooper when I didn't want to get drunk or hang out with lots of other drunk people until all hours of the morning.
Not everyone will GET that you need to have some “alone time” each night, or if you're not much of a partier and/or feel really uncomfortable in large, rowdy groups. This really bothered me when I first started traveling, but I eventually realized it wasn't worth stressing out over what other people thought of me.
Do your thing. If it aligns with what others around you want to do, too, cool. And if not, that's also okay.
3. Some days you'll have to force yourself to be social
As an introvert, you won't be predisposed to forcing yourself to socialize (or, in my case, giving in to peer pressure to socialize from others). I know this. In fact, you may start brainstorming elaborate reasons why you CAN'T join in on certain activities. I've been there; I've done it.
But, if I've learned anything about pushing myself, it's that forcing yourself to be social can sometimes be exactly what you need. I'm not saying you have to force yourself to do something you're entirely uncomfortable with – but convincing yourself to be slightly more outgoing than you would normally be can really enhance your travel experience.
Some days, you'll have to force yourself to be social. This could be as simple as going on a free walking tour with a group of other travelers instead of wandering around on your own, or could be as intense as agreeing to go on a rafting pub crawl with people you just met on a bus.
There are many days when I wake up on the road convinced that I don't want to talk to a soul that day. But then I force myself to be a little bit social, and I end up having a much better time than I would have had on my own. (You know, as long as I can curl up alone in bed with my laptop afterwards…)
4. You'll meet others like you
When I first started traveling (on that backpacker trail, remember), I would DREAD meeting new people in hostels because I assumed that they all would only be interested in partying. I was under the incorrect assumption that I was always destined to be the odd one out.
This, of course, could not be further from the truth.
I mean, yes, I DID meet plenty of backpackers who only wanted to party. But I also met plenty of other travelers just like me – introverts trying to figure out where they fit in to the travel landscape.
I remember being really apprehensive about doing a guided trip with Busabout during my backpacking days. I knew I'd be traveling on a large bus with lots of other young travelers, and I was terrified that I wouldn't fit in with any of them. Thankfully, though, I immediately hit it off with three Australian girls – one traveling solo and the other two traveling together – who shared my preference for beach days and sightseeing over all-night parties. We had so much fun together that they didn't really even have to try hard to convince me into having one big night out at a treehouse club in Montenegro.
This has been a recurring theme on my travels. No matter how much I stress out over not being able to meet people due to my introverted ways, I always end up connecting with a small group of fellow travelers. And it's often those beautiful people who turn up in my fondest travel memories.
5. Slow or solo travel might be a good fit for you
Even though backpacking wasn't as traumatizing as I originally feared it would be, I realized after a while that it just wasn't my ideal style of travel. Moving around so frequently and sharing my bedroom with so many strangers caused me a lot of unneeded stress. I got sick frequently, and the anxiety that has plagued me on and off since high school would often creep up the night before I had to navigate another airport or train station or set of bus schedules.
For many introverts, slower travel – i.e. staying in one place longer than just a couple of nights – is easier to adjust to than what I like to call “FOMO-style travel” (i.e. rushing around to see as much as you possibly can). It's less stressful and lets you get to know destinations at a slower pace, on your own terms. If it takes you a few days to get comfortable talking to strangers or branching out from the area where you're staying, traveling slower is a natural choice.
I think it's also safe to say that solo travel might be a better fit for many introverted travelers. While I DO like to travel in small groups or with my husband every now and then, solo travel gives you all the freedom you need to travel in the way that works best for you.
When I'm traveling alone and I hit a travel day where I don't want to force myself to be social, I simply don't have to. I can enjoy my own company for the entire day, doing what I want when I want to do it.
And, on the other hand, if you've had enough alone time and want to be more social, you're much more approachable as a solo traveler – don't be surprised when strangers just start talking to you in public!
RELATED: Why I'm Not Afraid to Travel Alone
6. You'll find ways to adapt that work for you
There's no “one size fits all” style of travel for us introverts. What works for me might not work for you. But, ultimately, you'll find ways to adapt and mold your travel style into whatever suits you best.
You might find that renting apartments instead of staying in hostels or hotels gives you the relaxing space you need to recharge at night. You might find that wearing headphones in public is effective when you're in a non-social mood. You may find that taking a Kindle with you to dinner helps combat the stress/awkwardness of eating alone when you're traveling solo. (I've gotten much more comfortable with this over the years.)
Whatever your tricks are, you'll figure them out by simple trial and error and will eventually settle into the perfect travel style for YOU.
7. You may not ever come “out of your shell” – and that's totally fine
A lot of people talk about the transformative power of travel; about how it changed their lives and brought them “out of their shell.”
Sure, it's possible that travel may transform your life and help you shed some of your introverted ways. But, then again, it may not. And that's okay, too! Being an introvert isn't a BAD thing, and certainly doesn't mean that you can't have an awesome and fulfilling travel experience.
Despite how it might come across on this blog, I'm no less introverted today than I was when I first started traveling years ago. I still stress out on travel days. I still have days where I don't want to be social. I still need time and space to decompress (alone) after a long day.
But that's just who I am, and who I will always be. And I've come to accept and even embrace that.
8. You can absolutely still travel as an introvert
If you take anything away from this post, I hope it will be that you can still travel – AND have an awesome time – as a more introverted person. You aren't destined to always be the odd one out; there will be people to connect with should you want to.
And, at the end of the day, traveling in any way, shape, or form is SO much better than not traveling at all. So don't let your introvertedness hold you back.
Are you an introverted traveler, too? Share your story in the comments below!
Amanda Williams is the award-winning blogger behind A Dangerous Business Travel Blog. She has traveled to more than 60 countries on 6 continents from her home base in Ohio, specializing in experiential and thoughtful travel through the US, Europe, and rest of the world. Amanda only shares tips based on her personal experiences and places she's actually traveled!
totally identify with this post, thank you for sharing!! its hard finding that middle ground between being outgoing and social, and finding time to yourself to recharge you batteries. I know I’m constantly tipping the scales too far in one direction or the other. But yes travel is definitely good for forcing social situations that help you grow that otherwise may not have happened. Teach it like you preach it!! great post, love your website!
Thanks, Aaron! I definitely struggle with that balance, too – and when I tip too far in the social direction, it often leads to burnout! But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. 🙂
What a great post! I’m traveling right now and just thinking about making ablog post like this the other day. Will just link to yours instead 😉 Can totally relate to this and I actually encounter a lot of introvert solo travelers on my way 🙂
I think it’s a topic a LOT of travelers can relate to – glad you enjoyed it!
I completely see myself in every point you mention in your post. 100%. And I travel as well, so I only agree to you when you say that it is no problem to travel as an introvert. Actually I really have gotten to the point lately that I think a lot of travel bloggers and digital nomads are introverts. Don’t you think?
And yes I think solo travel instead of with a group of friends is the better option as well as slow travel as you can always make some time for yourself. E.g. I traveled quite fast several times in Australia, Cuba and Guatemala and it makes me really really tired. Sometimes that I don’t want to do anything except staying in and losing my curiosity. So travel slowly and healthy for your personality instead.
Yes, I definitely think there are a lot more introverts in blogging and digital media than many people realize!
That personality that we are able to put forth online is a two-sided coin. While having the ability to inspire others we also risk loosing anyone/everyone that knows who we really are. Someone who knows our happiness, our pain and our struggles.
Thank you for writing on this subject, I feel the more information on the whole extro/introversion subject out there in front of the general public is a good thing. I have been an introvert all my life (like most of us). However knowing that and about the personality differences is something I have just recently became aware of. So the last few years have been spent educating myself and doing soul-searching of sorts, and really just trying to figure out WTF? I wish there was more information I could relate to available today. So far for the most part it’s still a ‘Women Only Club’.
I do a lot of travel within the states, I road trip extensively. That freaking out about where to eat? I do that here. Often.
On my last trip to Costa Rica I stayed at several different hostels, but always booked a private room. I’m 50 years old along with being an introvert, I’m a bit over sleeping in a dorm type room. However living in the hostel environment where everyone shared the kitchen and big (usually outdoor) dining/sitting area was really cool. I met people from all over the globe and took part in conversations that would have never happened in any other circumstance. I met people on the beach, in coffee shops, on buses, everywhere, and still never really felt like I was under too much social pressure. It was an experience I cant wait to have again. In the end though I was quite often still the ‘odd man out’. To be expected I guess, traveling solo and being a non-drinker, but at least now I know why.
Back state side here my travels are well, for one; simply because I can. But more than that it’s because of the crippling loneliness I feel by living in one place surrounded by people who I don’t have much in common with, who don’t know me and don’t seem to care too. I keep moving quite simply because I don’t have a reason to stay anywhere.
I’m a non-drinker, too, so I can relate to that part, too, Daniel! I’m glad to hear that you had such a great time in Costa Rica, though, and that you were able to find the best travel style for you on that trip. Just know that you definitely aren’t alone or the odd one out.
As I sit here reading this, I’m trying to talk myself into joining a group tour of a museum later today. I know I’m going to go and have a good time, but the act of getting ready and walking out the door still takes some mental work. I loathe making small talk with people I don’t know!
I can totally relate, Heather! The “mental work” can definitely be draining. I hope if you went you had a good time!
Wow, you really hit the nail on the head there! That could be me – no wait, that is me! Currently on a bus tour of New Zealand, I have experienced all of your issues and just prepared a post about it when I wanted a break to browse the net 😉
It took me a few rather stressful (that’s stress I totally made up for myself!) weeks to finally accept that I need hostel and people breaks regularly to really enjoy my travels. Thank you!!!
At least you figured it out pretty early on, Dee! And there’s nothing wrong with that – we all need a break sometimes (and especially us introverts).
I can definitely relate to this post and being called a party pooper too. It used to bother me years ago and then I’d think “meh, just go out maybe you’ll have a good time”. Sometimes I did, but more often than not I wished I had spent the evening along, decompressing as you say. That’s a good word for it because constantly being around others, making small talk, etc. is exhausting!
I’ve since learned that no, I’m not a party pooper, but in fact an introvert and that’s cool. Now I am who I am and if people don’t like it, oh well. I keep on traveling and having fun. 🙂
It IS exhausting! Thankfully I don’t care anymore if people want to call me a party pooper. 😉
This is perfect. It is exactly what I needed to hear tonight, as I’m laying in my hostel bed, NOT going to the pub crawl. I’m solo traveling and doing it slowly. I can’t go out every night or explore new places every day, it’s not good for my mental health. I have so much anxiety about it.
I did go to a crowded restaurant that I really wanted to eat at ALONE. that was huge for me. I didn’t even ask for my food to go and bolt like I really, really wanted to.
Thank you for sharing.
I’m glad this could help, Brina! There’s definitely a fine balance between pushing yourself and allowing yourself to take a break when you need it. There will always be more pub crawls. 🙂
Awesome post Amanda! You hit the nail on the head. I’ve been traveling for the past forty years and while I’ve come a LONG way from the shy twenty year old I used to be I still feel uncomfortable in large groups of people I don’t know well or at all. I know this was what kept me away from TBEX in Spain this year – all my favourite travel bloggers were to be there but I could not face the thought of approaching anyone in a crowd and introducing myself. Hostels are a nightmare for me (and I tend to be a nightmare for them as I snore…) and I prefer guest houses and airbnb where I can meet the owners and chat and in some cases become good friends. As a solo traveler a lot of the time it’s nice to have someone kind of “watching your back”. I do love meeting new people while traveling and am more often than not the first to strike up a conversation…if it’s one or two people…. I take group tours which I thoroughly enjoy but always have my own room. I too love to socialize but I do need that quiet space to withdraw to at the end of the day. I love traveling with friends but as much as I love them that 24/7 together thing can get old really quickly! The ideal is traveling with someone who is independent enough that they can do their own thing at times. I’ve accepted that I will never be the life of the party – hell, I don’t even like parties. I prefer a quiet meal and/or drinks with half a dozen friends.(MAX) Now that I am old not wanting to go to the bar isn’t an issue anymore – one bonus of old(er) age I guess!!!
Aww well I hope you’ll go to a travel blogging conference in the future! I know that that can be pretty daunting, but they’re really fun! 🙂 Lots of introverted travel bloggers out there, too. 😉
I honestly never identified as an introvert – I just thought I was weird, constantly craving alone time – until I was in Guatemala last September. 14 days with the same people, in one car, constantly being together drove me CRAZY. I felt so burnt out at the end of each day. Thankfully, I had a room all to myself, and my traveling buddies understood my need to have alone time. Turns out I’m more of a slow, solo traveller. Thanks for this! I’ll be sure to have my parents and everyone else read it when they feel tempted to think that I’m an anomaly lol
You definitely aren’t an anomaly! And lucky for you that your travel mates understood your need for alone time and respected that! And hey, at least now you know!
I think a lot of people are mistaken for extroverts when they are actually quite introverted. I think also people don’t realise that for some it can be a spectrum. For example I don’t have too much trouble meeting new people or eating alone but get so anxious when it comes to asking for help or when actually meeting new people. And down time is an absolutely essential part of my travel routine. Hence why I don’t mind spending hours on a train or a bus getting to a new destination as it is me time. The best thing for me has been couchsurfers; it forced me to meet new people but in a very small dose and controlled environment. But then other people would be terrified at the idea of staying in a strangers house. I think the most important thing is everyone is different and what works for us can also be different.
I agree totally, Britt – and especially about that spectrum, too!
I’m with you on every one of these! One experience that forced me to become more socially comfortable was working at a hostel in Morocco. I was the only native English speaker on the staff (many of whom spoke no English), and there was a constant flow of guests. Socializing is like a muscle for me–when I do it a lot, I get more comfortable with it, and when I don’t I become less comfortable. This is all good advice, it’s nice to hear about someone with similar experiences!
Ah yes, that definitely would have forced you to be more social! I’ve had a lot of jobs where I’ve worked with the public (including being a waitress) where I’ve had to force myself to be “on” all the time. I can definitely do it – but MAN, is it tiring!
This post sums me up perfectly! I always thought I was the odd one out for not being a partier. Not even in college (though I had a mini phase while studying in Australia). And I LIKE decompressing at night, curling up with a book or my computer. I need that time to recharge myself and my energy. I definitely find myself stressing over those little things too, like getting up the courage to ask someone a question or ordering something in another language. I’ve totally experienced the ‘ok yeah I’ll go find a restaurant and just walk in and eat by myself it’ll be fine!’ …2 hours later… ‘never mind.’ But I’ve also come to accept that it’s normal, and it’s just me. Solo travel allows me to BE me. And travel how I want. Hostels are still a bit draining for me, as there’s constant interaction with others (BLESS those hostels that have privacy curtains!), but it also occasionally forces me to be social, which I do need. And most of the time it works out! GREAT post!
Yup, I’ve come to accept that it’s just me, too! (Though I still get mad ay myself on those occasions where I decide I’m going to do something and then just wander around for hours and never actually do it… haha.)
It feels I’m reading about myself! I’m an introvert too, I don’t really like crows and I live being in a smaller group. It still drives me nuts to go to a work related party when I barely know anyone. But at least I’ve managed to overcome going to a restaurant alone or asking directions if I’m lost. But love to travel and meeting people and no longer afraid to say no to parties I’m not keen on attending
That’s great! It sounds like travel has helped you come out of your shell a bit then. 🙂
Introvert here! Anyone who incessantly bothers me to do things for which I have no interest, then calls me names for it is the real party pooper. Party for 1, but still, please stop pooping on my party.
Hahaha I agree! Unfortunately some people just can’t fathom why you wouldn’t be into the same things as them.