When most people (and especially most Americans) plan their first trip to the UK, a handful of destinations usually end up on their itinerary: London, Edinburgh, the Scottish Highlands, and perhaps a visit to a spot like St. Andrews or Oxford.

I don't know of very many people who add Wales to their first UK itinerary.

In fact, it took me more than five visits to Britain before I finally spent any mentionable amount of time in Wales. Everyone knows about London, and Scotland does a great job of marketing itself to tourists. Wales, on the other hand, largely gets overlooked.

But I get it. Because there are so many reasons why you should never go to Wales.

Why you should never visit Wales*

Reasons why you should probably never plan a trip to Wales include…

1. Castles, castles, castles

Wales has a ridiculous number of castles – over 600 of them, in fact, in a country that covers just over 8,000 square miles, which leads many people to call Wales the “castle capital of the world.” That seems a bit excessive, doesn't it? I mean, does a small country like Wales really need THAT many castles?

Most of them are in ruins now, anyway. And of the castles that are still standing, several are UNESCO World Heritage Sites now (like Conwy Castle, Harlech Castle, and Caernarfon Castle), which sounds like a lot of upkeep if you ask me.

And, really, who wants to drive around and see a castle on nearly every hilltop, or find ancient castle walls in every town? Doesn't that get old after a while?

2. All the legends

Wales has a lot of legends associated with it and its history, from dragons to magic swords to holy drinking vessels.

The legend of Merlin, for example, was based on the Welsh legends of the wizard Myrddin Wyllt, and many historians argue that King Arthur isn't a myth at all, but instead a real figure from Welsh history (though perhaps not actually a king). There's the mystery surrounding the Nanteos Cup, too, which many believe to be THE Holy Grail.

But c'mon, Wales. No need to be putting fairy tales in peoples heads. The fact that you have a “book town” is silly enough.

3. Old language

Go home, Wales: your language is drunk.

The Welsh language is an old one – it dates back thousands of years, in fact, and is likely the oldest language in Britain. And yet the language has changed little despite so many millennia passing. It's still ridiculously difficult to speak (well, for us non-Welsh, at least), and don't even bother trying to read signs in Welsh. It's just futile.

This is what the Welsh alphabet looks like:

And this is seriously a place name in Wales:

It means “The Church of Mary in the hollow of the white hazel near the fierce whirlpool and the Church of Tysilio by the red cave.”

Yes. For real. It's one of the longest place names in the world.

If the place names aren't silly enough, Tolkien also based one of his versions of the Elvish language (Sindarin) on Old Welsh. So yes, it's so strange-sounding and old that it was actually the basis for a made-up fantasy language.

4. The scenery

Wales has all sorts of scenery, from rolling hills (that they call mountains) to craggy coastlines. The roads through some of this scenery are twisting and so narrow that two cars literally can't pass one another. And they're often littered with sheep.

The combination of these two things will probably mean that you'll stop a lot when driving and you'll be late to everything.

And then there are the beaches, which are far too empty and clean compared to ones you'll find elsewhere in Europe. Some have even won awards and stuff, which kind of just makes it feel like Wales is showing off.

5. Adventure sports

People in Wales are a little crazy.

Not only do they do things like surfing and whitewater rafting in frigid mountain water, but they also like to fly down mountainsides on bikes, hurtle over old quarries on zip lines, and even invented a sport that combines swimming, coastal hiking, and cliff jumping in a sport the Welsh have dubbed “coasteering.”

I know of New Zealand as an adventure-crazy country, but Wales may be just as insane when it comes to inventive (and abundant) ways to hurt yourself.

RELATED: 7 Epic Adventures to Have in North Wales

6. Adorable towns

Little Welsh towns – like the ones you'll find in Snowdonia – are unbearably cute. With old stone buildings and cozy low-ceilinged pubs, it's honestly just too much.

Dial back on the quaintness, Wales. Seriously. You're going to leave people very disappointed when they visit other villages after these.

7. Welsh humbleness

People in Wales are far too humble. Whereas in Scotland they are quick to tell you what a town or loch or island is famous for, in Wales you almost have to force it out of the locals.

They also don't like to brag about their famous Welsh residents (like Tom Jones and Roald Dahl) or about cool accomplishments (they built the first traffic suspension bridge) or fun facts (Wales is home to a 4,000 year old tree!).

Stop being so darn sheepish, Wales! (I mean, I know you HAVE lots of sheep, but you don't need to act like them.) A little bragging every once in a while will do you good.

8. Welsh people are nice

Along with being humble, Welsh people are some of the nicest, friendliest people I've ever met in Europe.

In just one trip, I had complete strangers:

1. Come up to me on the street as I was studying a sign to ask if I was lost or needed any help finding my way around town.
2. Stop to chat and thank me for visiting their town.
3. Tell me that they loved my accent (which is absolutely absurd, when I have a boring Midwest American accent, and Welsh people have lovely lilting ones that make them sound like they're always singing).

If you're an American like me, you've been conditioned to be wary of any such unprovoked interaction with strangers on your travels. Welsh peoples' friendliness might catch you off-guard!

9. Not a lot of tourists

Since most tourists to the UK go to places like London and Edinburgh, you'll find many parts of Wales virtually devoid of any people. You can walk into a pub in many small cities and find only locals speaking Welsh (who will give you a strange look when you start speaking English).

Even the touristy places still feel very quiet.

It's a real contrast to visiting so many other parts of the UK, and can be a bit of a shock when you're used to sharing places with busloads and busloads of tourists.

So as you can see, Wales is a very old, strange, and empty place that you probably shouldn't ever visit!

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*I don't hate Wales, folks

To address all the angry people leaving comments on this post… of course I don't actually hate Wales!

In case my snarkiness didn't come through, let me state it plainly: this entire post is written tongue-in-cheek.

These are all reasons why you SHOULD visit Wales. I think Wales is an amazing part of the UK, and I'm frankly baffled over why more people don't go there.

With all the castles, beautiful scenery, outdoor adventure, and the fact that there aren't a ton of tourists, there's really no denying that Wales is a great destination.

Wales is very special (and I'm definitely not saying that just because I have a Welsh surname…), and I would actually encourage anyone and everyone to plan a trip to Wales!

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What do you think? Is Wales a place you'd like to go?

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