9 Reasons You Should Never Travel the World

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You hear a lot about traveling – about how awesome it is, usually. About how travel has opened people's eyes and changed their lives.

But you know what? I think they're wrong. Other countries are dirty, unsafe, and just downright strange. Here are 9 reasons you should probably just stay home.

9 reasons you should never travel the world

1. They don't speak English

“They” of course being the ubiquitous term for all those people in all those “other” countries in the world. You know, the ones who speak weird things like French and Japanese and Scottish.

They won't understand a thing you say; you'll probably have to become a mime, and likely will never have a correct food order delivered to you at a restaurant. Come to think of it, the menus probably won't be in English, either, so you'll probably just die of starvation before you get home.

I mean, is Italy really even worth visiting when you don't speak Italian?

2. It's super dangerous

Turn on the news, and you'll see stories about horrible things happening all over the world. People getting kidnapped and beheaded and raped and mugged. It's scary out there, and chances are if you leave home all of these things will happen to you all at once.

And then there are the diseases! You have to get all these shots in order to travel, and even then you might get dengue from a mosquito or rabies from a feral dog. Better off just staying home, where it's safe and nothing bad ever happens.

3. The food is weird

People eat bugs in other parts of the world. BUGS. And other strange things like animal organs and fruits with names you can't pronounce and food cooked on the side of the road.

Foreign food is just weird and scary and will probably give you food poisoning. You should just stick to McDonalds if you ever go abroad, just to be safe.

Fried spiders in Cambodia

4. They have strange customs

Other countries… they have some weird traditions and customs. I mean, did you know that in some countries they eat while sitting on the floor? And that in others they actually believe in fairies and elves?

And then there are things like dress codes and social taboos… it's probably not worth trying to learn them because you'll just forget them all anyway and probably end up embarrassing yourself in front of some local person. Better off to stick to what you know at home.

5. You have to sleep in scary places

You probably like sleeping in your own bed at night. Why would you want to sleep in strange beds halfway around the world? I mean, you've seen those exposes on TV – you KNOW what's on those duvet covers and hidden in the corners of hotel rooms.

And let's not even mention hostels. Sharing rooms with complete strangers? That's just like asking to be kidnapped and murdered (again, you've seen the movies).

Truly terrifying

6. It's dirty

Did you know that little kids in China poop on the sidewalk? Because they totally do. Paris smells like pee, and those “romantic” canals in Venice stink like garbage.

The world is dirty and gross, and you'll probably bring home bed bugs, parasites, or worse! If you do travel abroad, bring like a gallon of hand sanitizer with you, and don't touch ANYthing.

7. Travel is for rich people

Even if somehow you decided to brave the weird food and strange languages, you can't afford to go abroad anyway. We all know that travel is just for rich people.

A person like you with a job and student loan debt and monthly bills to pay can't possibly afford to travel the world. Plane tickets alone are bound to cost thousands of dollars at least, and normal people just don't have that kind of money sitting around.

Views reserved exclusively for rich people.

8. Travel is unpredictable

You have a daily routine: get up early, shower, coffee, work, home, dinner, TV, repeat. It's not a particularly exciting routine, but it's yours, and it's consistent. 

You know that when you travel, most things are outside of your control. Your flight will probably get delayed, you'll probably get lost, the weather will suck, and nothing will go how you planned. And you're just not flexible enough to “roll with it” like those hippie travelers do – they clearly don't appreciate structure.

9. Travel might change your life

Lastly, you know from talking to people who have traveled around the world that travel can change you. It can change how you see the world, how you interact with others, and even how you live your life. And, come on. Who has time for a total life upheaval like that? No thanks.

Unfettered happiness? Very much no thank you.

These people who tell you to travel the world, to see as much as you can while you're young? They are crazy. You're so much better off just staying home.

What other reasons can you think of for why you shouldn't travel the world?

NOTE: The post is entirely tongue-in-cheek. No, I'm not serious. Of COURSE these are all ridiculous arguments. But these are all real reasons real people have given me for why THEY don't want to travel the way I do. So many misconceptions out there! I just thought I'd have fun with the “stupid reasons people don't travel” list post.

"It's a dangerous business, going out your door. You step onto the road, and, if you don't keep your feet, there's no telling where you might get swept off to." - JRR Tolkien

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96 Comments on “9 Reasons You Should Never Travel the World

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  1. All these reasons are valid fo anyone who doesn’t like to travel..I’ve heard similar excuses from friends, but hey..if you love to travel, then these reasons are minor to keep you away from the great world that is waiting to be explored out there.

      Yup, totally agree! For some people, these reasons are valid. But, if you love to travel? They’re just silly!

    So many reasons not to travel and yet .. none of them sound reasonable.

    Hilarious post Amanda. Don’t forget the weather. No need to travel as it’s too hot, too cold, too windy, too humid, too wet, too cloudy, too….. Ah well, might as well stay and go to the garden. Oh no, it’s too earthy!!

    Haha, this made me snigger as I was reading it while stuck at my desk in the office.
    Snigger, and open up a browser window to find cheap flights to anywhere

      Glad to hear it! That was the whole goal!

    Lol.. You have a wicked sense of humor! Love this post 😀 People come up with strange reasons not to try something new or get out of their little bubble. It’s actually strange to me why someone would not travel if they had the chance to. A funny question I was once asked.. Aren’t you tired of traveling sometimes? All the packing and unpacking.. Ugh! To which I replied, aren’t you tired of routine and tired of not traveling? Hehe 😉

      Funny that their greatest fear was packing/unpacking! But yes, I’m totally with you – I will never understand people who don’t travel, even when they have the means to!

    I saw the topic and was amazed to see it fro a travel blogger. Glad to see you still love travel. It is my addiction. I grew up in Thailand and when I started traveling I just could not stop.
    Thanks for an interesting article/

    Jai – http://www.livinginchiangmai.org/

      Don’t worry – I still love travel, too! This post was totally sarcastic!

    All very plausible reasons not to leave our comfort zone, indeed 😉
    But in all seriousness, I still cannot fathom how some people choose not to travel even having the financial means to do so. To each their own, I know, but I just can’t wrap my head around it.
    There’s SOOOO much to see out there… I think keeping me from traveling the world would be tantamount to capital punishment!

      I totally agree! As much as I TRY to understand, I’ll never fully “get” people who just don’t want to travel and see the world. It’s such a foreign concept to me!

    Oh I love it when you write stuff like this. It always makes me laugh.
    Yes those strange customs around the world. Wouldn’t want to get anywhere near all of that….

      Thanks, Megan! This was a fun one to write. 🙂

    And I was wandering if you were serious while reading it!

      I knew I would trick a few people! 😉

    Thanks for the laugh, Amanda! Loved this 🙂

      Heehee, you are very welcome!

    I had someone once say to me that my travel dreams are unrealistic. She also said that I HAD to have babies and that I was put on this earth to reproduce. Um, yeah. I’m no longer friends with this person.

      Ugh, sounds like a good decision to break ties with that one!

    Brilliant article! It is completely true and you cannot imagine how often we have heard this kind of excuses for “not travelling”. Especially being rich and “oh, you have a cool life” is a must in every conversation. And also “you will grow up one day!”

    Marek and Kasia from http://www.aguadecoco.pl

      Thanks! Glad you liked it. It was a fun one to write!

    This is a great post! Loved it! I have though come to learn that just because I love to travel doesn’t mean others do. They come up with excuses like this, but the #1 thing I tend to hear is that they don’t have enough money. Like I’m some wealthy individual who travels the world with my entourage. I wasn’t prepared for the sometimes demeaning comments people leave on my photos either, such as “you sure do have the life” or the other day when I wrote about my visit to Krakow and writing about the terrible events that took place there and someone said, “What I really want to know is what you do for work that you’re able to travel all these places!” Because of course, she couldn’t travel if SHE wanted to. It’s a weird thing that happens when you open yourself up and try to share. But I wouldn’t trade it, this world is just too amazing!!!

      I totally know what you mean, Karina – I’ve heard the same things! And I get messages all the time from people wanting to know how I afford to travel so much. The answer, of course, is simple: I save up my money and make travel my top priority! Unfortunately some people don’t understand that they can totally do this, too!

      But seriously Katrina, you must tell me how you can afford to travel to Krakow. You must come from a wealthy family.

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