You hear a lot about traveling – about how awesome it is, usually. About how travel has opened people's eyes and changed their lives.
But you know what? I think they're wrong. Other countries are dirty, unsafe, and just downright strange. Here are 9 reasons you should probably just stay home.
9 reasons you should never travel the world
1. They don't speak English
“They” of course being the ubiquitous term for all those people in all those “other” countries in the world. You know, the ones who speak weird things like French and Japanese and Scottish.
They won't understand a thing you say; you'll probably have to become a mime, and likely will never have a correct food order delivered to you at a restaurant. Come to think of it, the menus probably won't be in English, either, so you'll probably just die of starvation before you get home.
2. It's super dangerous
Turn on the news, and you'll see stories about horrible things happening all over the world. People getting kidnapped and beheaded and raped and mugged. It's scary out there, and chances are if you leave home all of these things will happen to you all at once.
And then there are the diseases! You have to get all these shots in order to travel, and even then you might get dengue from a mosquito or rabies from a feral dog. Better off just staying home, where it's safe and nothing bad ever happens.
3. The food is weird
People eat bugs in other parts of the world. BUGS. And other strange things like animal organs and fruits with names you can't pronounce and food cooked on the side of the road.
Foreign food is just weird and scary and will probably give you food poisoning. You should just stick to McDonalds if you ever go abroad, just to be safe.
4. They have strange customs
Other countries… they have some weird traditions and customs. I mean, did you know that in some countries they eat while sitting on the floor? And that in others they actually believe in fairies and elves?
And then there are things like dress codes and social taboos… it's probably not worth trying to learn them because you'll just forget them all anyway and probably end up embarrassing yourself in front of some local person. Better off to stick to what you know at home.
5. You have to sleep in scary places
You probably like sleeping in your own bed at night. Why would you want to sleep in strange beds halfway around the world? I mean, you've seen those exposes on TV – you KNOW what's on those duvet covers and hidden in the corners of hotel rooms.
And let's not even mention hostels. Sharing rooms with complete strangers? That's just like asking to be kidnapped and murdered (again, you've seen the movies).
6. It's dirty
Did you know that little kids in China poop on the sidewalk? Because they totally do. Paris smells like pee, and those “romantic” canals in Venice stink like garbage.
The world is dirty and gross, and you'll probably bring home bed bugs, parasites, or worse! If you do travel abroad, bring like a gallon of hand sanitizer with you, and don't touch ANYthing.
7. Travel is for rich people
Even if somehow you decided to brave the weird food and strange languages, you can't afford to go abroad anyway. We all know that travel is just for rich people.
A person like you with a job and student loan debt and monthly bills to pay can't possibly afford to travel the world. Plane tickets alone are bound to cost thousands of dollars at least, and normal people just don't have that kind of money sitting around.
8. Travel is unpredictable
You have a daily routine: get up early, shower, coffee, work, home, dinner, TV, repeat. It's not a particularly exciting routine, but it's yours, and it's consistent.
You know that when you travel, most things are outside of your control. Your flight will probably get delayed, you'll probably get lost, the weather will suck, and nothing will go how you planned. And you're just not flexible enough to “roll with it” like those hippie travelers do – they clearly don't appreciate structure.
9. Travel might change your life
Lastly, you know from talking to people who have traveled around the world that travel can change you. It can change how you see the world, how you interact with others, and even how you live your life. And, come on. Who has time for a total life upheaval like that? No thanks.
These people who tell you to travel the world, to see as much as you can while you're young? They are crazy. You're so much better off just staying home.
What other reasons can you think of for why you shouldn't travel the world?
NOTE: The post is entirely tongue-in-cheek. No, I'm not serious. Of COURSE these are all ridiculous arguments. But these are all real reasons real people have given me for why THEY don't want to travel the way I do. So many misconceptions out there! I just thought I'd have fun with the “stupid reasons people don't travel” list post.
Amanda Williams is the award-winning blogger behind A Dangerous Business Travel Blog. She has traveled to more than 60 countries on 6 continents from her home base in Ohio, specializing in experiential and thoughtful travel through the US, Europe, and rest of the world. Amanda only shares tips based on her personal experiences and places she's actually traveled!
I have one more Amanda: it’s highly possible that you are going to get a terrible illness like malaria or something similar and as bad. Why risk it? 🙂
Oh definitely. You’ll definitely get Ebola.
I will not lie, I had to do a double take after the first paragraph ( I am so gullible!) But hilarious, and also such a great way to present some very hard to believe truths about peoples reasons not to travel. Thanks for the giggle on my break at work! 🙂
Haha, gotcha! 😉 Glad you liked the post!
Even if you hadn’t mentioned in the end note, I would have understood that it’s a tongue-in-cheek post. 🙂 Travel is such a beautiful aspect of life that no matter how many dangers or problems it brings, it is still worthwhile and fulfilling. Sitting at home doesn’t help a person in anyway, and who says that it’s totally safe at home?
Good, I’m glad you could tell this was satire! I’m sure at least a few people will read it and not get it! (Hence the disclaimer at the bottom.)
Haha I love this! A friend of mine once went to China and wouldn’t touch the food – survived on muesli bars and bananas for three weeks. I just don’t get it! The fun in travelling is all about leaving your comfort zone and trying new things!
That’s how I feel, too! But some people’s comfort zones are mare flexible than others.
Love this! Seriously though, those who are dead set on staying at home will always find an excuse to not travel. What a shame!
You’re so right – and it IS such a shame!
Don’t forget you will be totally lonely when you travel by yourself 😉
Oh yes! How could I forget? You will be lonely and bored and nobody will ever talk to you, and you’ll be so homesick after a week that you’ll go straight back home.
my favorite is the food thing- when I moved to china lots of people asked me what I was going to eat and told me I’d probably starve…. like theres not amazing Chinese food EVERYWHERE here
Oh geez. When I went to China (with a group in college), I had one friend who pretty much starved herself because she was afraid of the food! Then she discovered a McDonalds, and survived mostly on chicken nuggets for a week…
As a Travel Agent I get these reasons and more ALL the time whenever someone hears what I do!
“I don’t want to be spiritually attacked by their heathen religions” has been my personal favourite.
Oh gosh. I’m sure you’ve heard them all! Makes me so sad… the world is such an amazing place, and people who truly believe in these excuses are really missing out!
Haha! I’ve heard all of these too. I’ve also heard “my town is a microcosm of the world, we experience all of the same joys and sorrows of everyone else so there’s no real reason to travel…. *continues on philosophical tangent*”
It’s funny because then there’s the other side of the coin of people (usually people who think ‘traveling is for rich people’) where they think travel is all glamour, friendly locals, and easy living… but they still won’t go.
Oh yes, the microcosm one is another common one! (I almost added “My home has everything” as a tenth reason – basically the same idea. But I decided to stop at 9!)
And EBOLA. You’re probably guaranteed to get Ebola if you step foot outside your home country. Haha, I love satirical posts! Well done. 🙂
Oh yes. You will DEFINITELY get Ebola!
Hilarious! Great new take on this topic! How about this one to add to the list:
Don’t even try to leave your hometown to travel, because you will probably like it and then you will want to travel more! And that’s just not going to fit with your current life at all. Things might have to CHANGE! And let’s be serious, no one likes change!
* also being very sarcastic 🙂
Love it! I could have easily come up with 20 of these! So many silly reasons people give for not traveling.
I agree, someone should definitely teach those Scottish people how to speak English and the Welsh while they’re at it! On a serious note, it genuinely saddens me how these reasons are bona fide reasons why people deter themselves from the big wide world. If we weren’t meant to travel there wouldn’t be so many landacapes and cultures begging to be explored 🙂 (/my 2 cent)
I completely agree! (Though, I do love me a Scottish accent!)
oh Amanda thanks for writing this post! You got me on the title girl. So smart of you to convince us to travel by stating 9 silly excuses than by writing 500 reasons why we should be out there traveling the world right now.
I knew the title would make people curious! 😉 Thanks for reading!
Very convincing post, I now never want to travel again and am in fact already cancelling my future travel plans.
Just kidding, loved the post though! There are so many excuses you could come up with not to travel but they are mostly debunkable.
Yes, down with traveling! 😉
Glad you liked the post! And that you “got” it! I’m waiting for people to read it who don’t get that I’m totally being sarcastic… lol.
Oh Amanda, you had me for a second there. I’ve been actually planning to write a post like this as well and I love all of the reasons you gave. Surely, travel is hellacious and given these reasons above, people who think like that will ban together and raise awareness about the dangerous glories of traveling like opening your mind. What a wretched possibility!
Haha I’ve been toying around with the idea of this post for a while, too! Just decided to go for it, because it made ME laugh, at least. 😉
I travel a bit more then most peoples but there are some countries I won’t go. Like middle east and India when woman are treated like second class citizen..
That’s totally fine! At least you travel! There are some places I don’t really have a huge desire to travel to, either, but I know how great traveling is as a whole!
Hello Sharon,
I am aware that this response is three years late and you may never see it, but I only just read your comment and had to reply.
I am an Indian woman, and I have also traveled to certain parts of the middle east and can tell you that you definitely should visit both countries! India is a very large and beautiful country. The topography and culture in India varies greatly and will leave you spellbound- I guarantee it! Just google image search for ‘Jaipur’ or ‘Varanasi’ or ‘Sikkim’ and see for yourself.
I would like to make it clear that I was not offended by your comments. I watch the news and I am aware of how India is often portrayed by the media. I get why you think the way you do. Yes, we do have our share of social issues and there is always a small risk to your safety. But isn’t that the case anywhere? Indians are largely very hospitable, friendly people and most of them will go out of their way to help a traveler out; even more so a solo female. Just do your research, avoid seedy areas at night, use your common sense and you should be fine.
The only part of the middle east I’ve been to is Dubai and it’s a city that is safe, multicultural and a must visit!