9 Reasons You Should Never Travel the World

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You hear a lot about traveling — about how awesome it is, usually. About how travel has opened people's eyes and changed their lives.

But you know what? I think they're wrong. Other countries are dirty, unsafe, and just downright strange. Here are 9 reasons you should just stay home:

 

They don't speak English

“They” of course being the ubiquitous term for all those people in all those “other” countries in the world. You know, the ones who speak weird things like French and Greek and Scottish. They won't understand a thing you say — you'll probably have to become a mime, and likely will never have a correct food order delivered to you at a restaurant. Come to think of it, the menus probably won't be in English, either, so you'll probably just die of starvation before you get home.

It's super dangerous

Turn on the news, and you'll see stories about horrible things happening all over the world. People getting kidnapped and beheaded and raped and mugged — it's scary out there. And then there are the diseases! You have to get all these shots in order to travel, and even then you might get dengue from a mosquito or rabies from a feral dog. Better off just staying home, where it's safe and nothing bad ever happens.

The food is weird

People eat bugs in other parts of the world. BUGS. And other strange things like animal organs and fruits with names you can't pronounce and food cooked on the side of the road. Foreign food is just weird and scary and will probably give you food poisoning. You should just stick to McDonalds if you ever go abroad, just to be safe.

Fried spiders in Cambodia

They have strange customs

Other countries… they have some weird traditions and customs. I mean, did you know that in some countries they eat while sitting on the floor? And that in others they actually believe in fairies and elves? And then there are things like dress codes and social taboos… it's probably not worth trying to learn them because you'll just forget them all anyway and probably end up embarrassing yourself in front of some local person. Better off to stick to what you know at home.

You have to sleep in scary places

You probably like sleeping in your own bed at night. Why would you want to sleep in strange beds halfway around the world? I mean, you've seen those exposes on TV — you KNOW what's on those duvet covers and hidden in the corners of hotel rooms. And let's not even mention hostels. Sharing rooms with complete strangers? That's just like asking to be kidnapped and murdered (again, you've seen the movies).

It's dirty

Did you know that little kids in China poop on the sidewalk? Because they totally do. Paris smells like pee, and those “romantic” canals in Venice stink like garbage. The world is dirty and gross, and you'll probably bring home bed bugs, parasites, or worse! If you do travel abroad, bring like a gallon of hand sanitizer with you, and don't touch ANYthing.

Hanoi river flats

Travel is for rich people

Even if somehow you decided to brave the weird food and strange languages, you can't afford to go abroad anyway. We all know that travel is just for rich people — a person like you with a job and student loan debt and monthly bills to pay can't possibly afford to travel the world. Plane tickets alone are bound to cost thousands of dollars at least, and normal people just don't have that kind of money sitting around.

Travel is unpredictable

You have a daily routine: get up early, shower, coffee, work, home, dinner, TV, repeat. It's not a particularly exciting routine, but it's yours, and it's consistent. You know that when you travel, most things are outside of your control. Your flight will probably get delayed, you'll probably get lost, the weather will suck, and nothing will go how you planned. And you're just not flexible enough to “roll with it” like those hippie travelers do — they clearly don't appreciate structure.

It might change your life

Lastly, you know from talking to people who have traveled around the world that travel can change you. It can change how you see the world, how you interact with others, and even how you live your life. And, come on. Who has time for a total life upheaval like that? No thanks.

Florence

These people who tell you to travel the world; to see as much as you can while you're young? They are crazy. You're so much better off just staying home.

——

What other reasons can you think of for why you shouldn't travel the world?

 

 

NOTE: The post is entirely tongue-in-cheek. No, I'm not serious. Of COURSE these are all ridiculous arguments. But these are all real reasons real people have given me for why THEY don't want to travel the way I do. So many misconceptions out there! I just thought I'd have fun with the “stupid reasons people don't travel” list post.

 

"It's a dangerous business, going out your door. You step onto the road, and, if you don't keep your feet, there's no telling where you might get swept off to." - JRR Tolkien

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94 Comments on “9 Reasons You Should Never Travel the World

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  1. I can’t bring my dog! Oh wait…Europe is more dog-friendly than the U.S. I mean…forget I said that!
    Also, I’m willing to bet that Paris smells like pee because of dogs…sorry!

      Haha, maybe that IS the reason for Paris’ smells! 😉

    Your article is better than motivation video. Thank you for sharing it! It is amazing how people can always find a reason not to do things. Best regards!

    what i love most are you hipsters that think your special just cuz you pay money to travel around some wow

    congrats have the money and freedom to travel good for you but us real people actually have to you know work and live a real life

    why do you people care so much if anybody else travels most people just don’t give a shit about the world and have to worry about there own life and surviving

    most people that travel a lot do so strictly so they can brag to others about where they been

    even thou we don’t care where you been

      Well, Danny, I have “work and a real life,” too, so I don’t think I quite fit the mold of the “hipsters” you’re complaining about.

      I also don’t travel the world because I like to brag about it. I travel because I love to travel, see new places, meet new people, and experience new cultures. I’ve learned more from traveling than I ever did in school, and to me that’s valuable! But no one is saying you have to do it, too. If you think traveling is stupid, feel free to continue believing that – I’m sure you know how to hit the exit button from this blog.

      I know this is an old post… But I totally agree Danny. I have never felt a strong urge to travel outside of the country, not because I don’t value diversity, but because
      1.) I love exploring my surroundings here. Most people I know who travel have barely been out of their hometown except to go to another country. Create a culture at home! It’s never boring, most people just don’t know how. I live in Canada and love ice fishing, snowboarding, hiking and swimming, cooking, and I am also a professional mushroom/wild food forager now.

      2.) Imagine how people in 3rd world countries feel when you prance in their from across the world to ‘experience their culture’ while they struggle to make ends meet. Sure they’re glad for any opportunity like yourself to get money, but what a joke. Think of what damage you are doing to their culture by turning it into a tourist trap. Even in 1st world Paris
      many shops are being bought by Chinese people to turn into chinese food restaurants because tourists miss their own food.

      3.) Everyone complains about global warming but I see hippies condemning oil then flying to asia for a trip. Pretty sure there are no solar planes coming up anytime soon, and biofuels are a joke.
      4.) You’re risking your life. Tourists ARE a target, no one cares about you there! Same reason prostitutes are targeted, you are easy to make disappear. Everyone thinks it won’t happen to them, until it does. Yes there’s risks at home, but at least I know our police aren’t as corrupt as other countries and people who care about me won’t have to deal with foreign policies/people.

      5.) I have better things to spend my money on! Like property, and visiting my friends and family and experiencing life with them. I feel hurt that some of my friends would rather travel the world than come visit me. Obviously they can afford it. I never even moved very far and lived in a nice place to visit, and only 2 of my siblings and my parents ever visited me. Meanwhile I drove 20 hours to visit friends and do you think they took a single picture?
      It’s not like they ever stay friends with travel aquaintances. You can say what you want about me, but I know I am a good friend and they like me, it’s just that friends/family aren’t valued enough in North America.

      6.) While you’re out traveling, you’re missing out! If you’re single and traveling, you could miss an opportunity to meet a partner here, be building a relationship, be starting a business or a group, having a baby or babysitting your friends kids etc. Life is not on pause while you’re gone.
      Not to be morbid, but everyone you love is going to die, and you don’t have as much time as you think you do.

        We’re all entitled to our own opinions of course, but your point that “Tourists ARE a target” and that you’re risking your life when traveling is just incorrect. Do some research on the number of people who are hurt or killed while traveling vs. how many people die in their own homes/hometowns – going strictly by the numbers, it’s actually much safer to travel! 😉

    Love this so much! For real though, I WILL die before I ever eat a spider…

      Hahaha, don’t go to Cambodia, then – you’ll see lots of spiders to eat there!

    I would never leave my home country. I’d probably end up in some filthy prison cell with a squat toilet. I have long hair, after all.

      Haha. Oh yes, definitely. You’d be an easy target.

    I love these types of articles. As Mendie said we should not forget Ebola. It is one of the main reason an i believe most of the tourist might think a second time when they fly to Malaysia due to the airplane issue.

      Oh yes, Ebola and plan crashes… definitely reasons to stay home! 😉

    This is priceless Amanda! You are right – The rich dirty people eat weird food and have very unpredictable customs!

      Haha, I could not have summed it up better myself!

    Funny post, thinking about what to add maybe Don’t travel you may get tan lines..

      Haha, that’s a good one! I wore this one pair of Teva sandals nearly everday for 2 months in Europe in the summer – I got some wicked tan lines!

    LOL, you should have a subname to your point.. “stupid reasons why people don’t travel”. Thanks for the Friday enlightenment! Miss your blog posts, lady. 🙂

      Haha, yes, that’s definitely the sub-head for this post!

    Yes. Entire countries can be deemed dangerous to visit because of isolated incidents reported on the media. *SMH

      Pretty much! Which is sad… so many of those places are perfectly safe for the average tourist!

    Sound funny but true. At one point, you have your reasons why you should not travel the world. But for me, it’s a matter of how you deal with all these things. I love your guts. I love how you go against what many travelers do think and suggest. I know traveling around the world is fun and exciting but I can’t disregard your points as well. It’s really helpful when someone keeps an eye on the bad or not-so-good side of things, and for this, I may say, that you got me in.

    HA! These is so much truth to this list of yours. Which is a scary truth about the misconception of World travel! We heard soooo much of this when we told everyone that we were quitting our jobs, selling our house and traveling the World for the next couple years. Well, best decision we ever made!

      Yes, unfortunately there are a lot of misconceptions surrounding travel – long-term or otherwise! But, sometimes there’s nothing you can do but just laugh at them (and feel a little sorry for the people who believe these things).

    Everybone has his own thoughts and we respect that…but if you like to explore the world, nothing can stop you doing so…

    Hilarious post! It’s totally true though – so many people are scared off travelling for those very reasons.

      Yup, I’ve heard them all before! Glad you liked the post. 🙂

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