9 Reasons You Should Never Travel the World

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You hear a lot about traveling — about how awesome it is, usually. About how travel has opened people's eyes and changed their lives.

But you know what? I think they're wrong. Other countries are dirty, unsafe, and just downright strange. Here are 9 reasons you should just stay home:

 

They don't speak English

“They” of course being the ubiquitous term for all those people in all those “other” countries in the world. You know, the ones who speak weird things like French and Greek and Scottish. They won't understand a thing you say — you'll probably have to become a mime, and likely will never have a correct food order delivered to you at a restaurant. Come to think of it, the menus probably won't be in English, either, so you'll probably just die of starvation before you get home.

It's super dangerous

Turn on the news, and you'll see stories about horrible things happening all over the world. People getting kidnapped and beheaded and raped and mugged — it's scary out there. And then there are the diseases! You have to get all these shots in order to travel, and even then you might get dengue from a mosquito or rabies from a feral dog. Better off just staying home, where it's safe and nothing bad ever happens.

The food is weird

People eat bugs in other parts of the world. BUGS. And other strange things like animal organs and fruits with names you can't pronounce and food cooked on the side of the road. Foreign food is just weird and scary and will probably give you food poisoning. You should just stick to McDonalds if you ever go abroad, just to be safe.

Fried spiders in Cambodia

They have strange customs

Other countries… they have some weird traditions and customs. I mean, did you know that in some countries they eat while sitting on the floor? And that in others they actually believe in fairies and elves? And then there are things like dress codes and social taboos… it's probably not worth trying to learn them because you'll just forget them all anyway and probably end up embarrassing yourself in front of some local person. Better off to stick to what you know at home.

You have to sleep in scary places

You probably like sleeping in your own bed at night. Why would you want to sleep in strange beds halfway around the world? I mean, you've seen those exposes on TV — you KNOW what's on those duvet covers and hidden in the corners of hotel rooms. And let's not even mention hostels. Sharing rooms with complete strangers? That's just like asking to be kidnapped and murdered (again, you've seen the movies).

It's dirty

Did you know that little kids in China poop on the sidewalk? Because they totally do. Paris smells like pee, and those “romantic” canals in Venice stink like garbage. The world is dirty and gross, and you'll probably bring home bed bugs, parasites, or worse! If you do travel abroad, bring like a gallon of hand sanitizer with you, and don't touch ANYthing.

Hanoi river flats

Travel is for rich people

Even if somehow you decided to brave the weird food and strange languages, you can't afford to go abroad anyway. We all know that travel is just for rich people — a person like you with a job and student loan debt and monthly bills to pay can't possibly afford to travel the world. Plane tickets alone are bound to cost thousands of dollars at least, and normal people just don't have that kind of money sitting around.

Travel is unpredictable

You have a daily routine: get up early, shower, coffee, work, home, dinner, TV, repeat. It's not a particularly exciting routine, but it's yours, and it's consistent. You know that when you travel, most things are outside of your control. Your flight will probably get delayed, you'll probably get lost, the weather will suck, and nothing will go how you planned. And you're just not flexible enough to “roll with it” like those hippie travelers do — they clearly don't appreciate structure.

It might change your life

Lastly, you know from talking to people who have traveled around the world that travel can change you. It can change how you see the world, how you interact with others, and even how you live your life. And, come on. Who has time for a total life upheaval like that? No thanks.

Florence

These people who tell you to travel the world; to see as much as you can while you're young? They are crazy. You're so much better off just staying home.

——

What other reasons can you think of for why you shouldn't travel the world?

 

 

NOTE: The post is entirely tongue-in-cheek. No, I'm not serious. Of COURSE these are all ridiculous arguments. But these are all real reasons real people have given me for why THEY don't want to travel the way I do. So many misconceptions out there! I just thought I'd have fun with the “stupid reasons people don't travel” list post.

 

"It's a dangerous business, going out your door. You step onto the road, and, if you don't keep your feet, there's no telling where you might get swept off to." - JRR Tolkien

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93 Comments on “9 Reasons You Should Never Travel the World

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  1. Oh Amanda, you had me for a second there. I’ve been actually planning to write a post like this as well and I love all of the reasons you gave. Surely, travel is hellacious and given these reasons above, people who think like that will ban together and raise awareness about the dangerous glories of traveling like opening your mind. What a wretched possibility!

      Haha I’ve been toying around with the idea of this post for a while, too! Just decided to go for it, because it made ME laugh, at least. 😉

        I travel a bit more then most peoples but there are some countries I won’t go. Like middle east and India when woman are treated like second class citizen..

          That’s totally fine! At least you travel! There are some places I don’t really have a huge desire to travel to, either, but I know how great traveling is as a whole!

          Hello Sharon,

          I am aware that this response is three years late and you may never see it, but I only just read your comment and had to reply.

          I am an Indian woman, and I have also traveled to certain parts of the middle east and can tell you that you definitely should visit both countries! India is a very large and beautiful country. The topography and culture in India varies greatly and will leave you spellbound- I guarantee it! Just google image search for ‘Jaipur’ or ‘Varanasi’ or ‘Sikkim’ and see for yourself.

          I would like to make it clear that I was not offended by your comments. I watch the news and I am aware of how India is often portrayed by the media. I get why you think the way you do. Yes, we do have our share of social issues and there is always a small risk to your safety. But isn’t that the case anywhere? Indians are largely very hospitable, friendly people and most of them will go out of their way to help a traveler out; even more so a solo female. Just do your research, avoid seedy areas at night, use your common sense and you should be fine.

          The only part of the middle east I’ve been to is Dubai and it’s a city that is safe, multicultural and a must visit!

    Very convincing post, I now never want to travel again and am in fact already cancelling my future travel plans.

    Just kidding, loved the post though! There are so many excuses you could come up with not to travel but they are mostly debunkable.

      Yes, down with traveling! 😉

      Glad you liked the post! And that you “got” it! I’m waiting for people to read it who don’t get that I’m totally being sarcastic… lol.

    oh Amanda thanks for writing this post! You got me on the title girl. So smart of you to convince us to travel by stating 9 silly excuses than by writing 500 reasons why we should be out there traveling the world right now.

      I knew the title would make people curious! 😉 Thanks for reading!

    I agree, someone should definitely teach those Scottish people how to speak English and the Welsh while they’re at it! On a serious note, it genuinely saddens me how these reasons are bona fide reasons why people deter themselves from the big wide world. If we weren’t meant to travel there wouldn’t be so many landacapes and cultures begging to be explored 🙂 (/my 2 cent)

      I completely agree! (Though, I do love me a Scottish accent!)

    Hilarious! Great new take on this topic! How about this one to add to the list:
    Don’t even try to leave your hometown to travel, because you will probably like it and then you will want to travel more! And that’s just not going to fit with your current life at all. Things might have to CHANGE! And let’s be serious, no one likes change!
    * also being very sarcastic 🙂

      Love it! I could have easily come up with 20 of these! So many silly reasons people give for not traveling.

    And EBOLA. You’re probably guaranteed to get Ebola if you step foot outside your home country. Haha, I love satirical posts! Well done. 🙂

      Oh yes. You will DEFINITELY get Ebola!

    Haha! I’ve heard all of these too. I’ve also heard “my town is a microcosm of the world, we experience all of the same joys and sorrows of everyone else so there’s no real reason to travel…. *continues on philosophical tangent*”

    It’s funny because then there’s the other side of the coin of people (usually people who think ‘traveling is for rich people’) where they think travel is all glamour, friendly locals, and easy living… but they still won’t go.

      Oh yes, the microcosm one is another common one! (I almost added “My home has everything” as a tenth reason – basically the same idea. But I decided to stop at 9!)

    As a Travel Agent I get these reasons and more ALL the time whenever someone hears what I do!
    “I don’t want to be spiritually attacked by their heathen religions” has been my personal favourite.

      Oh gosh. I’m sure you’ve heard them all! Makes me so sad… the world is such an amazing place, and people who truly believe in these excuses are really missing out!

    my favorite is the food thing- when I moved to china lots of people asked me what I was going to eat and told me I’d probably starve…. like theres not amazing Chinese food EVERYWHERE here

      Oh geez. When I went to China (with a group in college), I had one friend who pretty much starved herself because she was afraid of the food! Then she discovered a McDonalds, and survived mostly on chicken nuggets for a week…

    Don’t forget you will be totally lonely when you travel by yourself 😉

      Oh yes! How could I forget? You will be lonely and bored and nobody will ever talk to you, and you’ll be so homesick after a week that you’ll go straight back home.

    Love this! Seriously though, those who are dead set on staying at home will always find an excuse to not travel. What a shame!

      You’re so right – and it IS such a shame!

    Haha I love this! A friend of mine once went to China and wouldn’t touch the food – survived on muesli bars and bananas for three weeks. I just don’t get it! The fun in travelling is all about leaving your comfort zone and trying new things!

      That’s how I feel, too! But some people’s comfort zones are mare flexible than others.

    Even if you hadn’t mentioned in the end note, I would have understood that it’s a tongue-in-cheek post. 🙂 Travel is such a beautiful aspect of life that no matter how many dangers or problems it brings, it is still worthwhile and fulfilling. Sitting at home doesn’t help a person in anyway, and who says that it’s totally safe at home?

      Good, I’m glad you could tell this was satire! I’m sure at least a few people will read it and not get it! (Hence the disclaimer at the bottom.)

    I will not lie, I had to do a double take after the first paragraph ( I am so gullible!) But hilarious, and also such a great way to present some very hard to believe truths about peoples reasons not to travel. Thanks for the giggle on my break at work! 🙂

      Haha, gotcha! 😉 Glad you liked the post!

    I have one more Amanda: it’s highly possible that you are going to get a terrible illness like malaria or something similar and as bad. Why risk it? 🙂

      Oh definitely. You’ll definitely get Ebola.

    This is a great post! Loved it! I have though come to learn that just because I love to travel doesn’t mean others do. They come up with excuses like this, but the #1 thing I tend to hear is that they don’t have enough money. Like I’m some wealthy individual who travels the world with my entourage. I wasn’t prepared for the sometimes demeaning comments people leave on my photos either, such as “you sure do have the life” or the other day when I wrote about my visit to Krakow and writing about the terrible events that took place there and someone said, “What I really want to know is what you do for work that you’re able to travel all these places!” Because of course, she couldn’t travel if SHE wanted to. It’s a weird thing that happens when you open yourself up and try to share. But I wouldn’t trade it, this world is just too amazing!!!

      I totally know what you mean, Karina – I’ve heard the same things! And I get messages all the time from people wanting to know how I afford to travel so much. The answer, of course, is simple: I save up my money and make travel my top priority! Unfortunately some people don’t understand that they can totally do this, too!

      But seriously Katrina, you must tell me how you can afford to travel to Krakow. You must come from a wealthy family.

    Brilliant article! It is completely true and you cannot imagine how often we have heard this kind of excuses for “not travelling”. Especially being rich and “oh, you have a cool life” is a must in every conversation. And also “you will grow up one day!”

    Cheers,
    Marek and Kasia from http://www.aguadecoco.pl

      Thanks! Glad you liked it. It was a fun one to write!

    I had someone once say to me that my travel dreams are unrealistic. She also said that I HAD to have babies and that I was put on this earth to reproduce. Um, yeah. I’m no longer friends with this person.

      Ugh, sounds like a good decision to break ties with that one!

    Thanks for the laugh, Amanda! Loved this 🙂

      Heehee, you are very welcome!

    And I was wandering if you were serious while reading it!

      I knew I would trick a few people! 😉

    Oh I love it when you write stuff like this. It always makes me laugh.
    Yes those strange customs around the world. Wouldn’t want to get anywhere near all of that….
    🙂

      Thanks, Megan! This was a fun one to write. 🙂

    All very plausible reasons not to leave our comfort zone, indeed 😉
    But in all seriousness, I still cannot fathom how some people choose not to travel even having the financial means to do so. To each their own, I know, but I just can’t wrap my head around it.
    There’s SOOOO much to see out there… I think keeping me from traveling the world would be tantamount to capital punishment!

      I totally agree! As much as I TRY to understand, I’ll never fully “get” people who just don’t want to travel and see the world. It’s such a foreign concept to me!

    I saw the topic and was amazed to see it fro a travel blogger. Glad to see you still love travel. It is my addiction. I grew up in Thailand and when I started traveling I just could not stop.
    Thanks for an interesting article/

    Jai – http://www.livinginchiangmai.org/

      Don’t worry – I still love travel, too! This post was totally sarcastic!

    Lol.. You have a wicked sense of humor! Love this post 😀 People come up with strange reasons not to try something new or get out of their little bubble. It’s actually strange to me why someone would not travel if they had the chance to. A funny question I was once asked.. Aren’t you tired of traveling sometimes? All the packing and unpacking.. Ugh! To which I replied, aren’t you tired of routine and tired of not traveling? Hehe 😉

      Funny that their greatest fear was packing/unpacking! But yes, I’m totally with you – I will never understand people who don’t travel, even when they have the means to!

    Haha, this made me snigger as I was reading it while stuck at my desk in the office.
    Snigger, and open up a browser window to find cheap flights to anywhere

      Glad to hear it! That was the whole goal!

    Hilarious post Amanda. Don’t forget the weather. No need to travel as it’s too hot, too cold, too windy, too humid, too wet, too cloudy, too….. Ah well, might as well stay and go to the garden. Oh no, it’s too earthy!!

    So many reasons not to travel and yet .. none of them sound reasonable.

    All these reasons are valid fo anyone who doesn’t like to travel..I’ve heard similar excuses from friends, but hey..if you love to travel, then these reasons are minor to keep you away from the great world that is waiting to be explored out there.

      Yup, totally agree! For some people, these reasons are valid. But, if you love to travel? They’re just silly!

    Hilarious post! It’s totally true though – so many people are scared off travelling for those very reasons.

      Yup, I’ve heard them all before! Glad you liked the post. 🙂

    Everybone has his own thoughts and we respect that…but if you like to explore the world, nothing can stop you doing so…

    HA! These is so much truth to this list of yours. Which is a scary truth about the misconception of World travel! We heard soooo much of this when we told everyone that we were quitting our jobs, selling our house and traveling the World for the next couple years. Well, best decision we ever made!

      Yes, unfortunately there are a lot of misconceptions surrounding travel – long-term or otherwise! But, sometimes there’s nothing you can do but just laugh at them (and feel a little sorry for the people who believe these things).

    Sound funny but true. At one point, you have your reasons why you should not travel the world. But for me, it’s a matter of how you deal with all these things. I love your guts. I love how you go against what many travelers do think and suggest. I know traveling around the world is fun and exciting but I can’t disregard your points as well. It’s really helpful when someone keeps an eye on the bad or not-so-good side of things, and for this, I may say, that you got me in.

    Yes. Entire countries can be deemed dangerous to visit because of isolated incidents reported on the media. *SMH

      Pretty much! Which is sad… so many of those places are perfectly safe for the average tourist!

    LOL, you should have a subname to your point.. “stupid reasons why people don’t travel”. Thanks for the Friday enlightenment! Miss your blog posts, lady. 🙂

      Haha, yes, that’s definitely the sub-head for this post!

    Funny post, thinking about what to add maybe Don’t travel you may get tan lines..

      Haha, that’s a good one! I wore this one pair of Teva sandals nearly everday for 2 months in Europe in the summer – I got some wicked tan lines!

    This is priceless Amanda! You are right – The rich dirty people eat weird food and have very unpredictable customs!

      Haha, I could not have summed it up better myself!

    I love these types of articles. As Mendie said we should not forget Ebola. It is one of the main reason an i believe most of the tourist might think a second time when they fly to Malaysia due to the airplane issue.

      Oh yes, Ebola and plan crashes… definitely reasons to stay home! 😉

    I would never leave my home country. I’d probably end up in some filthy prison cell with a squat toilet. I have long hair, after all.

      Haha. Oh yes, definitely. You’d be an easy target.

    Love this so much! For real though, I WILL die before I ever eat a spider…

      Hahaha, don’t go to Cambodia, then – you’ll see lots of spiders to eat there!

    what i love most are you hipsters that think your special just cuz you pay money to travel around some wow

    congrats have the money and freedom to travel good for you but us real people actually have to you know work and live a real life

    why do you people care so much if anybody else travels most people just don’t give a shit about the world and have to worry about there own life and surviving

    most people that travel a lot do so strictly so they can brag to others about where they been

    even thou we don’t care where you been

      Well, Danny, I have “work and a real life,” too, so I don’t think I quite fit the mold of the “hipsters” you’re complaining about.

      I also don’t travel the world because I like to brag about it. I travel because I love to travel, see new places, meet new people, and experience new cultures. I’ve learned more from traveling than I ever did in school, and to me that’s valuable! But no one is saying you have to do it, too. If you think traveling is stupid, feel free to continue believing that – I’m sure you know how to hit the exit button from this blog.

    Your article is better than motivation video. Thank you for sharing it! It is amazing how people can always find a reason not to do things. Best regards!

    I can’t bring my dog! Oh wait…Europe is more dog-friendly than the U.S. I mean…forget I said that!
    Also, I’m willing to bet that Paris smells like pee because of dogs…sorry!

      Haha, maybe that IS the reason for Paris’ smells! 😉

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